14 things that happen every Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is inevitable, no sooner have the Christmas proposal Facebook posts stopped, than the influx of red roses, or passive aggressive quotes on why single life is the way forward begin.
But no matter where you are, and what your situation is there are certain things that you’re bound to witness every single Valentine’s Day.
1. You either love it or hate it

Valentine’s Day may as well be sponsored by Marmite, because that is just how deeply it divides opinion.
There is no such as not really being bothered by it, because you either love it so much that you end up buying personalised chocolates for everyone you know, or you hate it so much that it makes your teeth clench in anger.
2. Great expectations

There will always be a secret expectation when it comes to receiving cards or gifts.
Even if you swear that you’re not fussed, you’ve secretly run through a scenario whereby your secret office crush leaves a card on your desk, along with a note inviting you for a coffee.
You’ve planned this down even to the exact pair of socks you will wear on this jaunt. You, of course, will be disappointed.
3. Pressure galore

No matter which shop you pop into, even if it is your local Tesco, you are bound to see a whole heap of nervous shoppers holding several cards whilst desperately trying to decide if they should go for something cheesy, or something modern.
And you can forget about being able to get any sharing sizes of chocolate, because these will be purchased in bulk due to uprising panic of a chocolate shortage.

4. The gift dilemma

If you’re seeing someone you are faced with a bigger dilemma than telling them that you sometimes make moaning noises in your sleep.
You have to decide if you should get them a gift, and if so what type of gift.
You consult online gift guides, and realise that you aren’t a millionaire and stick to a cuddle coupon which goes down like a lead balloon.
5. The single dilemma
If you’re single do you do anything with other single friends? Do you treat yourself to a gift? You end up barricading yourself in your bedroom and eating cheese.
6. Public arguments
There will always be one couple that the pressure gets too much and they end up having a massive ding dong at the bus stop.
It usually involves one of them making zero effort on Valentine’s Day. Tears are common in such situations. It will be awkward, yet you will stare.

7. The flower delivery

Guaranteed to peak around 2pm at work, and will most likely be received by the person you dislike the most on your team, and yes she will brag all day long.
You won’t even have so much as a cactus on your desk.
8. Social media overload
You decide to log out after seeing the amount of people you know who have woken up to a champagne breakfast, or, even worse, a surprise trip to Paris.
You will take comfort instead by eating Nutella out of the jar with a plastic spoon.
9. Everything turns a pinky red
Apparently there is an unwritten law that everything around you will turn a sickly pinky red colour.
Don’t be surprised if you wake up one morning to find that your cat’s fur has turned red to get down with the Valentine’s Day theme.

10. Hearts, hearts everywhere
It’s gone too far when you see your Postman wearing a heart shaped badge. Please make it stop.
11. A couple go viral
Usually for loving each other so much, and doing something sickeningly romantic, like a synchronised dance routine. Great way to make the rest of us peasants look bad.
Thanks Charlotte and Stuart from Vancouver, THANKS A LOT.
12. You make bad choices
Nothing like seeing couples together to make you message your ex out of desperation. You know, the one that made you cry a lot and quite possibly stole your favourite pair of socks.
13. Good luck going out for food
Even your local Pizza Express will be booked up two weeks in advance by couples intent on sharing dough ball platters, and spaghetti to re-enact that scene from Lady And The Tramp. Yuck.

14. PDA everywhere
You will bump into several couples all over each other. You wish that you could be let loose on them with a fire hose.

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